


If I lose to myself

by fear_her_blurryface



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Insults, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:37:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fear_her_blurryface/pseuds/fear_her_blurryface
Summary: Nothing kills you faster than your own head, especially when you dare to hope...A very special thank you to tsuneli for translateing this fic for the russian fandom. Here's the link: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8047487/20424182





	1. She pretents, that she's okay

School was a necessary evil for Georgiana. Cutting classes meant problems and she already had enough. So she had to face the fact day by day that she wasn‘t a part of the school universe. She was the strange girl, always dressed in black, that everyone would rather ignore than talk to her.  
Maybe it was better this way, she tried to convince herself. If anyone found out about HIM, it would be another target for all school hooligans, and Brandon was more than enough.  
The only bright spot for her was Josh. But she knew very well, that such an attractive and popular student, wouldn’t never notice such a nobody like her. He was the drummer of the school band and constantly surrounded by a bunch of girls, so he didn‘t have to make any effort to date someone.  
She took one last look at him before she closed her locker and was about to walk to her class as she bumped into someone. "Hey, Wednesday Addams, corpses like you belong to the graveyard, and not here to spoil the good mood of other people," sneered a familiar voice. Brandon Urie was standing in front of her, grinning disdainfully.  
, YES GEORGIE, BRENDON IS COMPLETELY RIGHT. PEOPLE LIKE YOU, BELONG TO THE CEMETERY. I'M TELLING YOU THE SAME, ALL THE TIME.‘  
"Shut up, Blurry," she growled softly. But it was not quiet enough. "What did you say, you pale witch?" He snapped at her, shoving her against the locker.  
"Hey Bren, leave her alone and come here" a voice was heard suddenly. She looked up in surprise and realized, it was Josh who had addressed him. For a second their eyes met and she wanted to dissapeare into thin air. Brendon let go of her and joined the group around Josh.  
Before the they began to move, the drummer's gaze wandered back to her and he gave her a look that she couldn‘t interpret even with the best intentions.  
‚DON’T TRY TO TELL ME, YOU‘RE REALLY CONSIDERING HE COULD BE INTERESTED IN SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT LIKE YOU. IF YOU DO; YOU’RE EVEN DUMBER THAN I THOUGHT YOU ARE.' Blurry's voice boomed in her head.  
She rolled her eyes in annoyance and replied: "No, how could I, Blurryface" and set off for history lessons. As she sat down at her favorite table in the corner of the room, she slowly relaxed. She had hoped for some peace, which was to be ignored by everyone, but the teacher thwarted her hopes. As she entered the classroom, she was followed by a young man Georgiana had never seen before.  
His eyes were fixed on the floor and he was visibly uncomfortable. He tugged nervously at the sleeves of his hoodie, which was obviously too big for him. His dark hair was a bird's nest, the dark circles under his eyes and his pale skin betrayed her at first glance, that sleep was a matter of luck for him, also.  
"Class, this is Tyler Joseph. He is a new student, and I would be very happy if someone would agree to familiarize him with his class schedule."  
The motivation of the class, was visibly limited and so the teacher looked around the room. "Georgiana, how about you? Would you be so kind to familiarize Tyler with everything here?" She flinched and wanted to refuse, but then she saw Tyler's imploring gaze and she haven’t the heart to say no.   
"Okay," she replied quietly, and moments later, Tyler sat down next to her.  
"Thanks," he said barely audible. She looked at him in surprise and returned. "Never mind. I'm just afraid that you'll soon regret my company." „  
Why? "  
" I'm not very good with people. "  
He smiled sadly and replied," It's okay, me neither. "  
She smiled shyly back and they both tried to concentrate on the lesson.  
At Lunchbreak, Georgiana headed for a secluded tree at the far end of the school grounds. A few minutes later, Tyler appeared and asked shyly, "Is it okay if I sat down next to you?"   
She looked at him indecisively and he said, "I did not mean to be intrusive" and was about to turn away when she answered : "No, you are not intrusive. I just ... I'm not used, anyone is seeking my company. "He nodded and sat down next to her. There was his sad smile, again and he replied: "Me neither."  
They ate their lunch in silence, but Georgiana couldn‘t suppress her curiosity any longer and asked, "Why?" Tyler looked at her confused and asked, "Why, what?"  
"Why, do people avoid your company?"   
He sighs "I ... I think I'm too broken to have a social life."  
"Social life? Never heared about"  
Tyler looked at her searchingly: "Why?"   
"Because ... because ..."   
"DARE TO SAY SOMETHING !," she heard Blurryface rumbling and felt thousands needles piercing her skull. She closed her eyes and groaned.  
"Is everything okay?" Tylers worried voice asking. "Yes, I think I get a migraine"

The afternoon lesson passed quickly and so Georgiana accompanied Tyler to his locker and said softly: "See you tomorrow" and turned away. Tyler wanted to hold her back, but he didn‘t dare.  
When Georgiana stepped out of the door, she heard someone mocking, "Hey, witch of the South, did you finally find someone to play with? I'm already sorry for the poor soul. "Brendon grinned wickedly as she sighed," Brendon, I know you hate me. I just do not know why. I never did anything to you. Why can‘t you just leave me alone? "  
"Where would be the fun if I just left you alone?"  
"Well, maybe you should reconsider your definition of fun then."  
Brendon's face twisted into a furious grin and he shoved her against the wall beside the front door. "Don‘t tell me what I have to think about!" She grinned at him maliciously and replied against better knowledge: "That‘s true: thinking is not your strength. Sorry, my mistake. "  
She saw his fist fly toward her and closed her eyes as a voice called, "Leave her alone, you ass!"  
Georgiana opened her eyes again and saw Tyler beside her, looking at Brendon with fury in his eyes, that made absolutely clear that he was quite willing to let it come to a brawl.  
"And you are?" Brendon said unperturbed. You don‘t cling to your life that much, if you dare to mess with me. "  
"Enough Brendon" another voice was heared, that Georgiana knew only too well. Josh's head peeked through the door and he glared at his friend. "Why are you such an ass sometimes?" Before Brendon could answer, Tyler added, "Yes, Brendon: why are you such an ass?" And grinned at him provocatively. He let his fist fly forward his face without warning and would have caught Tyler with full force, if Josh hadn‘t stepped in and torn his friend away.  
Brendon, STOP! "He shouted at him. "Why can‘t you just leave Georgiana alone!" He grabbed him walked with him to the parking lots.  
She couldn‘t believe that Josh knew her name and her heart jumped in her chest. When she started to shake, Tyler asked worriedly, "Is everything okay?"   
"Yes, thank you."  
He looked at her thoughtfully and asked, "Who was the one who stopped this bitbull?"   
"Josh Dun," she answered curtly, adding, "Tyler I'm really grateful you wanted to help me, but that wasn‘t a good idea. Now Brendon has you on his radar too, and it's enough if he has a down on me. "   
" But ... " her friend began, but she interrupted him:" I think it's better for you, to stay away from me "and turned away with a sad look in her eyes.  
Tyler let her go, knowing that there was no point talking to her right now.


	2. I'm standing in front of you, I'm trying to be so cool

"Can you tell me why you're always on Georgiana?" Josh asked as they arrived at his car, starring at Brendon. "Man, I don‘t know: Maybe it's the way she always looks at you"   
"Huh?" He replied, confused.   
"Come on, you don‘t want to tell me that you've never noticed."  
"No, frankly not."  
Brendon let out a frustrated rumble. "Ah Jish, I can‘t believe it. I'll bet if you were nice to her, she would lay at your feet faster than a penny is falling to the ground. "   
" What do you mean? "Brendon grinned at him," Just give it a try. "

\-------------------------------------------------- -------------------

, AWW GEORGIANA, EVEN WHEN PEOPLE GET FORCED TO KEEP YOU COMPANY, YOU RUIN THEM IN NO TIME'  
"Shut up, Blurry," she replied, annoyed, knowing that he was right.  
'DO US A FAVOR, AND RELEASE US FROM YOUR EXISTENCE'  
"Why don‘t you release me from your existence?" She snapped back.  
‚ BABY, YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU CAN GET RID OF ME‘ the voice in her head replied spitefully.  
Georgiana tried to steer her thoughts in a different direction. She thought of Josh and her heart started beating faster. How did he know her name? And why had he saved her from Brendon?  
, REALLY? IT‘S VERY SORROWING, YOU ASK THAT. YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR ENEMIES, STUPID. HE WANTS TO SAVE HIS FRIEND FROM SOIL HIS HANDS AT YOUR FILTHY BODY.'  
Blurry's words stung her heart and she was close to tears.  
, OH, ARE WE SORRY NOW ?! GOD, YOU ARE SO PATHETIC. HOW OFTEN DO I NEED TO SAY, THAT NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU. LOOK AT YOURSELF: YOU ARE STUPID AND UGLY. NOBODY IS ABLE TO LIKE SUCH A LOSER LIKE YOU.‘

She did not know how, but when she could think straight again, she stood in her bathroom holding a razor blade in her hand. Blood was dripping on the tiles and her forearms were showing ugly cuts. Georgiana wasn‘t dismayed or felt anything. There was only a dull emptiness and the spiteful laugh of Blurryface.  
She bandaged her cuts and went to bed. She was so tired. She just wanted to sleep and not wakeing up anymore.  
But the next morning came. As sure as the sun rises in the east. Georgiana struggled out of bed, trying to ignore the stenching wounds on her arms. She reached for a black long-sleeved shirt, although the day threatened to get hot. She tied her auburn hair into a sloppy bun, and as she reached for the front door knob, she saw a ghostly shadow of dead eyes reflected in the glass.  
'OH MAN, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT' scoffed Blurryface. "Tell me something, I don‘t know yet," she replied unperturbed.

Georgiana was digging in her locker to find her history book when a voice made her flinch. She carefully looked out from behind the Lockerdoor and almost had a heart attack. Josh stood in front of her. When he saw her pale face, concern flashed in his eyes. "My God, what happened? You look like death on pines. "She looked at him blankly and replied," Are you just here to tell me, I look like shit? "   
" No! " he raised his hands defensively. Georgiana could see that he was really struggling to find the right words and added more gently, "Okay, what do you want from me then?"   
"I ... I wanted to apologize to you." Now she was really surprised.   
"Uh, what do you want to apologize for? You haven‘t done anything bad to me.   
"Because of Brendon. He can be an ass sometimes, but on the other hand, he is also a very loyal friend. "  
Georgiana shook her head in disbelief: Really? Josh, if you're such good friends, that's nice for you. For my part, I know only Ass-Brendon, and can‘t confirm or refute your statement. "The drummer looked at her desperately again and stammered:" Yes ... you‘re ... right, I ... I just wanted to say that I make sure he leaves you and your friend alone. "She closed the locker door and said bitterly," Friend? Tyler is not my friend. He's just a new student who, unfortunately, had the misfortune of being condemned by the teacher to being briefed by me. So it would be really nice, if Brendon left him alone. "Josh made a startled face.  
She was about to turn away as the drummer grabbed her forearm to stop her. She let out a stifled cry of pain and she hastily pulled her arm away. Josh's eyes widened in shock and he stammered: " I'm so sorry. I didn‘t want to hurt you. Did you hurt yourself with something? "  
"You don‘t have to worry about that," she replied, leaving him alone.


	3. I'm so very far from fine

But he was worrying.  
"Hey Jish, how was your conversation going with Wednesday Addams? You are so quiet somehow. He looked questioningly at Brendon,   
"Huh, Wednesday Addams?" Then he got it, who his friend meant and he replied, "Bren, why do you call her that?"   
"Well, because she's kind of scary."   
The drummer sighed.   
"Come on, tell me how was it, Jish?"   
"Well, I think you've been pretty wrong. She was not really thrilled to see me. "  
"Really? I can refute that. I'm absolutely sure she has a crush on you."  
Brendon pulled his smartphone out of his pocket and started a video.

 

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

It showed Josh, who just passed Georgiana with Colin, without even notice her. She stood by her locker and lowered her eyes as he passed. But as soon as he was past her, she lifted them again and her expression touched him, though he didn‘t quite know why.  
Her eyes were so full of love and yet so sad, and for a fraction of a second he could see her eyes sparkle.  
"Well, what did I tell you?" Brandon said triumphantly, grinning like a chesire cat.

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

Georgiana, was lost in thoughts , as she toyed with the loose threads of her jeans, barely realizing that Tyler sat next to her and said softly, "hello."  
"Hi," she replied curtly, continuing to stare holes in the table when she saw Tyler's worried face.  
After a while he said softly, "Georgiana, I just wanted to say that I'm not afraid of Brendon. I ... I've been dealing with such idiots before. And ... and I would like to be friends with you, if ... if you want. "  
She looked at him in surprise. "I ... don‘t know ... I've never had a friendship ... I don‘t even know if I'm a good friend ..."  
Tyler saw how much she fought with herself and replied, "You'll never know if you don‘t try." A smile crossed her face: " You're right, of course" and added softly, "0kay"  
They had lunch under the lonely tree, again and Tyler was already gone back to class when Georgiana closed her eyes to think about this new situation. Suddenly she heard footsteps approaching her and she muttered, "Did you forget something, Ty?"  
"Uh no. It's Josh, "a familiar voice answered. She opened her eyes and winced at the same time. He instinctively took a step back to give her more room. "Sorry, I thought ..." she started, but she didn‘t finish the sentence.  
"It's alright, I have to apologize - again" and smiled warmly at her."  
Oh god, that smile! It felt like a supernova exploded in the deep black universe. She looked shyly to the ground and muttered, " You don‘t have to. I'm just a bit jumpy "  
"What I actually wanted to ask you this morning: Would you ... would you like to have a coffee with me?"   
She looked at him stunned: "Why should someone who is as popular as you, like to go for a coffee with a nobody? You have so many friends and the half cheerleading team would commit a murder to go out with you, Josh. "  
"Um, I don‘t think you're a nobody" he began "And I don‘t care what the half cheerleading team wants."  
"Do you know what I don‘t understand about the whole thing? You've never noticed me all the time, and suddenly you're talking to me. You‘re apologize for something you didn‘t do and on top oft hat you want to have a coffee with me. "  
He thought for a moment and replied, "I think you're good at making yourself invisible, Georgiana. Even if I'm not sure why."  
She laughed bitterly and replied, "You‘re not entirely wrong, but Brendon never had a problem with overlooking me."  
Josh was about to say something when the school bell rang. Georgiana jumped up and cursed, "Damn!", and ran off.  
"Just in time" Tyler told her as she took a seat next to him, completely out of breath. "I know," she gasped, and seconds later, the teacher entered the room with a pile of test sheets under his arm.

As they made their way home, Tyler asked, "Why were you almoust late?"  
"Josh wants to talk to me."  
"What? The same Josh, who pulled Brendon away, yesterday?! "  
"Yup"  
"What did he want, if I may ask?" She laughed and replied, "He asked me if I want to have a coffee with him."  
Tyler stopped in amazement and opened his mouth. "And?" He asked after he had caught himself again.   
" What, and?"  
"Well, what did you answer?"  
"Nothing"  
"Nothing?"  
"Well the bell rang and I just left him."  
Tyler looked thoughtfully and after a while he asked, "Okay, would you like to have a coffee with him?" She stopped abruptly and looked at him with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "Ty, we both know that people like him, don‘t really want to have anything to do, with people like us."  
,EXACTLY. WHEN HE FINDS OUT, HOW MESSED UP AND WORTHLESS YOU ARE, HE WILL TURN AWAY WITH DISGUST. AND YOUR CUTE, LITTLE FRIEND HERE,TOO. '  
Blurryface's comment made her shudder.  
"Is everything okay?" Tyler asked worriedly.   
"Um, yes" she answered curtly. He cocked his head and said carefully, "No offense Georgiana, but you're a miserable liar."   
Her eyes hardened and she shrugged. " Maybe. I have to go now. "  
Then she turned away and left Tyler behind.


	4. The ghost of you is close to me

When Georgiana entered the house, she was greeted with icy silence. The dull sound of her steps in the hallway were almost unbearable to hear. Extending her loneliness into infinity.  
The next moment she felt cold breath on her cheek and she closed her eyes, knowing what is going to follow. ,COME ON, GEORGIANA. IS THE FACT DAWNING ON YOU FINALLY, THAT YOU WILL BE ALWAYS ALONE? '   
"But ..." she wanted to speak up, but she immediately felt ice-cold hands around her neck, starting choking her. STUPID, AS ALWAYS. HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO CLARIFY THAT YOU HAVEN‘T TO TALK BACK! ' She gasped desperately for air, but she couldn‘t prevent to lose her consciousness. When she fell to the ground it was already pitch black around her.

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

"Bren, how is it that you are so fixated on Georgiana?" Josh asked his friend as they sat in his room that evening. "Didn‘t I answer this question already?" he replied dryly.   
"But why do you care how she looks at me? Why are you even making a video? "  
"Well, cause her behavour is kind of scary."  
"Sure. And because you think she's scary, you're asking me to be nice to her."  
Brendon sighed, "I thought, when you talk to her, this freak figured out that you're a couple of numbers too high for her, and just stopps staring at you like that."  
Josh was upset. "I really think it’s not your right to decide who is worth to look at me and who‘s not."  
"Jish man, please understand. Something's wrong with her. "  
"And how is that?"  
"I often seen her in this neglected forest. Even though she was alone, she talked to somebody. And that's really not normal. "  
Josh thought for a while and replied, "Okay, it's weird, but maybe she does it, because she's always alone."

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

Her body groaned as she woke up on the hard ground. She sat up carefully and grabbed her neck. Swallowing hurt. Slowly she went upstairs. Arriving in her room, she undressed and entered the bathroom only in a tank top and panties. When she looked in the mirror, she noticed dark marks on her neck. Her reflection looked tired and ghostly.  
Cold hands lay on her shoulders and Blurryface stood behind her, looking at her with his red eyes. Then he leaned forward and whispered, "TIME TO GO TO SLEEP."  
He guided her back to her room and she went to bed without resistance. Georgiana barely managed to cover herself before she felt the ice cold presence of Blurryface nestling against her, pulling her closer with his arm. "DON‘T FORGET, I AM THE ONLY ONE, WHO IS AND WILL BE REALLY INTERESTED IN YOU." She didn‘t have the strength to answer and his cold breath made her shiver.

The next morning, Blurryface had disappeared. She needed fresh air, she needed space. As Georgiana forced herself to eat some cereal, her smartphone hummed suddenly.

, Good morning Georgiana. Would you like to hang out with me today? Tyler '

She stared at the message. The memory of yesterday's events rose in her and she felt guilty.  
'DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RUIN TY-TY'S WEEKEND?   
Georgiana tried to ignore Blurry's voice, reached for the smartphone and replied: 'Good morning Tyler. I would love to hang out with you. Where do we meet? '  
A cold shiver ran down her spine as Blurryface laughed maliciously and said, "YOU‘RE SUCH A BITCH! TO BOTHER POOR, INNOCENT TYLER WITH YOUR WORTHLESS EXISTENCE. YOU WILL SEE WHAT YOU'LL BECOME. '


	5. Down in the forest

Georgiana had to smile when she arrived at the agreed meeting place. The rustling of trees calmed her strained nerves and the forest's different green tones gave her a feeling of home.  
"Hello Georgiana" she heard Tyler's voice behind her and turned around. Her smile vanished from her face when she saw the pale face of her friend. "Ty, are you okay? You look so pale."  
,SURE, HE’S LOOKING PALE, STUPID. I WONDER MYSELF, HE DOESN’T THROW UP RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FEET, CAUSE HE HAS TO DEAL WITH YOU. 'Blurryface interjected and she had to suppress a groan.  
"I had a hard night," Tyler replied, looking at her in a way she felt all too familiar. "Same, here" she answered, and they turned into the narrow forest path. Soon they were swallowed by the green sea of trees, completely.  
"Have you ever been in this forest?" Tyler asked after they had gone awhile. "Yes," she said, smiling shyly.  
"Do you know this enchanted clearing beside the waterfall?"  
"This is my favorite place," she confessed and blushed slightly. Tyler smiled and said softly, "Mine, too."  
They walked in silence until they reached the clearing. Tyler sat down in the soft grass and pulled Georgiana down with her. After a while, she asked, "Do you want to talk about why you had a hard night?"   
Her friend thought for a while and then hesitantly began, "It's really complicated to explain ... and maybe it all sounds way too crazy for you ... and, and I don‘t want to scare you ... "His voice died and he didn‘t dare to continue.  
Georgiana sighed and she said gently, "You know what? I know someone who recently told me to try things. Only then, you really know if things are the way you think." Tyler smiled:" Not bad, Georgie. Trying to convince me with my own words."   
She grinned back and replied ". Well, let’s face it: You‘re perfectly right with your words, Ty."  
He started nervously pulling at a rubber band he wore around his wrist. Then he sighed and started, "I had a hard night because he didn‘t let me sleep, again."   
Tyler looked at his girlfriend nervously, but when she just nodded encouragingly he continued,   
"HE keeps telling me how worthless and unworthy I am. Just a burden and an imposition for others. He's always trying to convince me to end my life, and he's been very close to getting his way, several times. "  
Georgiana had become increasingly pale next to him and when Tyler looked at her anxiously, she asked softly: "Does he have a name?"  
"BLURRYFACE"  
She began to tremble and gasp when she heard HIS mocking laughter in her head: "STUPID BRAT, DID YOU THINK, I AM THE ONLY ONE? I CAN‘T BELIEVE IT….."  
"Georgie, are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn‘t mean to scare you ... "Tyler began to stammer, but she just shook her head and gasped," It’s okay, you didn‘t do anything wrong. "  
Her sleeves had slid up and Tyler's eyes widened in disbelief. He didn‘t need an explanation for the sight that presented itself to him. He knew by himself. She wanted to hide her bandaged arms, but he gently stopped her and said quietly, "You don‘t have to hide your arms," and added after a short pause, "I know what Blurryface is capable of . "As if to prove it, he pulled up his sleeves and Georgiana could see the many scars that covered his skin. She looked at him in unspeakable sadness and began to cry.  
He gently stroked her back, while a tear ran down his left cheek.  
"That's not fair, Ty" she said under sobs. "You don‘t deserve this"  
Tyler sighed and answered sadly, "You don‘t deserve it either, Georgie."

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

The sun was already setting when Josh was on the way home from Brandon. When he looked up from his smartphone, he saw Georgiana was coming towards him, but she didn‘t notice him, cause she had her eyes fixed on the ground.  
He stopped and studied her appearance. She looked pale and tired, and what struck him the most, was that she seemed so sad. The sunset in her back made her seem even more ghostlike, as if she were losing herself in the dusk at any moment.  
"Good evening, Georgiana" he said as she was about to collide with him. She jumped back, startled, and obviously needed a moment to realize who was standing in front of her.  
"Josh?" She said in surprise, but then caught herself and added, "Have a good evening too." She wanted to go on, but he said, "Wait please." She stopped and looked at him questioningly. "I .. um, I wanted to answer your questions that you asked me recently."  
It took her a few seconds to realize what he meant, and then replied, "Well,then go ahead and tell me, why would someone like you, like to go for a coffee with a nobody like me?"  
Visibly struggling with her direct nature, Josh hesitantly continued, "Well, as I've told you, you're not a nobody ... And, and I think Brendon just kept an eye on you for the wrong reasons."  
"And what are your reasons for suddenly taking notice of me?" Josh obviously had not expected such a question because he was speechless. When he didn‘t answer, she started to turn and leave, but he gently took her by the hand and stopped her. "Please don‘t go. I'm sorry, I'm not good with words, but I'm really interested in you. "  
The pleading undertone in his voice struck her heart and she looked at him. The last sunlight reflected in his amber eyes and made them sparkle in a wonderful way.  
She sighed and said, "Okay, where and when you want to going to have a coffee with me?"  
Even in the dark, she could see his happy grin. He hugged her gently and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for trusting me" Georgiana couldn‘t stop her from shuddering.  
"Let's exchange phone numbers and I'm thinking of a few cafés" Josh suggested and after some hesitation Georgiana agreed. Shortly thereafter, they parted and Josh decided inwardly, not to tell Brendon any of this.

 

Georgiana couldn‘t believe that she had actually agreed to have a coffee with Josh. She bit her lower lip anxiously as she thought about whether it would have been a good idea to give him her cell phone number. The image of Josh's beaming smile flared up again in her mind and a warm feeling floaded her heart.  
"IF POOR JOSHIE WOULD ONLY KNOW, WHAT A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT YOU ARE ..." Blurry Face sneered.  
The comforting feeling inside her immediately turned into ice.  
"IF YOU WOULD REALLY LIKE HIM, THE WAY YOU PRETEND; YOU WOULDN’T BOTHER HIM WITH YOUR UGLY PRESENCE.‘  
Georgiana tried to blink away her tears and ignore Blurryface.  
"DON‘T YOU THINK IT’S ENOUGH, THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR STUPID AND WORTHLESS BEING?"  
"Then fuck off, Blurryface!" She hissed into the dark night. Instantly she felt his cold, pale hands on her neck and his long talons dug painfully into her skin.  
"YOU STUPID BITCH! THEN SLIT YOUR WRISTS, FINALLY! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU. EVEN YOUR MOTHER CAN’T DEAL WITH YOUR POINTLESS EXISTENCE! OR WHY IS SHE ALWAYS ON SOME BUSINESS TRIP, HUH? "  
Just before she lost her consciousness, he let go of her and hit her face hard. Georgiana staggered back and looked lost at him. "Why are you so cruel?" Blurryface grinned broadly and his razor-sharp teeth flashed as he approached her and answered, "BECAUSE I CAN." Then he slapped her face again.  
She lost her balance and crashed hard on the asphalt. The world around her became black and silent.


	6. Don't wanna hand you all my trouble

The sun was already setting when Josh was on the way home from Brandon. When he looked up from his smartphone, he saw Georgiana was coming towards him, but she didn‘t notice him, cause she had her eyes fixed on the ground.  
He stopped and studied her appearance. She looked pale and tired, and what struck him the most, was that she seemed so sad. The sunset in her back made her seem even more ghostlike, as if she were losing herself in the dusk at any moment.  
"Good evening, Georgiana" he said as she was about to collide with him. She jumped back, startled, and obviously needed a moment to realize who was standing in front of her.  
"Josh?" She said in surprise, but then caught herself and added, "Have a good evening too." She wanted to go on, but he said, "Wait please." She stopped and looked at him questioningly. "I .. um, I wanted to answer your questions that you asked me recently."  
It took her a few seconds to realize what he meant, and then replied, "Well,then go ahead and tell me, why would someone like you, like to go for a coffee with a nobody like me?"  
Visibly struggling with her direct nature, Josh hesitantly continued, "Well, as I've told you, you're not a nobody ... And, and I think Brendon just kept an eye on you for the wrong reasons."  
"And what are your reasons for suddenly taking notice of me?" Josh obviously had not expected such a question because he was speechless. When he didn‘t answer, she started to turn and leave, but he gently took her by the hand and stopped her. "Please don‘t go. I'm sorry, I'm not good with words, but I'm really interested in you. "  
The pleading undertone in his voice struck her heart and she looked at him. The last sunlight reflected in his amber eyes and made them sparkle in a wonderful way.  
She sighed and shyly said, "Okay, where and when you want to going to have a coffee with me?"  
Even in the dark, she could see his happy grin. He hugged her gently and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for trusting me" Georgiana couldn‘t stop her from shuddering.  
"Let's exchange phone numbers and I'm thinking of a few cafés" Josh suggested and after some hesitation Georgiana agreed. Shortly thereafter, they parted and Josh decided inwardly, not to tell Brendon any of this.

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

Georgiana couldn‘t believe that she had actually agreed to have a coffee with Josh. She bit her lower lip anxiously as she thought about whether it would have been a good idea to give him her cell phone number. The image of Josh's beaming smile flared up again in her mind and a warm feeling floaded her heart.  
"IF POOR JOSHIE WOULD ONLY KNOW, WHAT A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT YOU ARE ..." Blurry Face sneered.  
The comforting feeling inside her immediately turned into ice.  
"IF YOU WOULD REALLY LIKE HIM, THE WAY YOU PRETEND; YOU WOULDN’T BOTHER HIM WITH YOUR UGLY PRESENCE.‘  
Georgiana tried to blink away her tears and ignore Blurryface.  
"DON‘T YOU THINK IT’S ENOUGH, THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR STUPID AND WORTHLESS BEING?"  
"Then fuck off, Blurryface!" She hissed into the dark night. Instantly she felt his cold, pale hands on her neck and his long talons dug painfully into her skin.  
"YOU STUPID BITCH! THEN SLIT YOUR WRISTS, FINALLY! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU. EVEN YOUR MOTHER CAN’T DEAL WITH YOUR POINTLESS EXISTENCE! OR WHY IS SHE ALWAYS ON SOME BUSINESS TRIPS, HUH? "  
Just before she lost her consciousness, he let go of her and hit her face hard. Georgiana staggered back and looked lost at him. "Why are you so cruel?" Blurryface grinned broadly and his razor-sharp teeth flashed as he approached her and answered, "BECAUSE I CAN." Then he slapped her face again.  
She lost her balance and crashed hard on the asphalt. The world around her became black and silent.  
When she woke up again, she was no longer lying on the hard asphalt, but in a bed. Her tired brain took a while to realize it was not her bed because she had never had a bedding with aliens on it. Georgiana sat up with a jerk and looked around in panic. A sunbeam broke through a crack in the curtains and turned the room into warm orange. Posters of various bands hung on the walls and in one corner was a drum set placed. Then she spotted Josh sitting asleep in a chair, snoring softly.  
How, for God's sake, had she ends up in Josh's bed? Slowly, the memories of last night rose in her and a wave of shame and guilt drowned her.  
Josh must have found her on the street. As she tried to move, a sharp pain shot through her head. She touched her temples and felt that her head was bandaged. Then she realized she wore a T-shirt that was not hers and the bandages on her arms were gone. The cuts were slowly healed, but still clearly visible, like all the old scars that ran along their underarms.  
She stifled a whimper as she realized that Josh had seen it all. And still, he sat asleep in the chair and hadn‘t turned away in disgust.  
Despite the headache, she slowly got out of bed and found her jeans hanging over a chair and pulled her on. The only thing she could not find was her shirt. So she reached for Josh's hoodie, which he had worn the day before and pulled him over. He smelled of coconut, vanilla and Josh. She closed her eyes for a moment and lost herself in the scent.

On the desk she found a blank sheet of paper and she wrote:

Dear Josh,  
I am so sorry that I made you circumstances. Thank you for your help and care. Please don‘t be angry that I borrowed your hoodie, but I couldn‘t find my shirt. Of course you will get your things washed, back again.  
In gratitude  
Georgiana

She grabbed a throw from the bed, carefully covered Josh with it, and left the room as quietly as possible. In the hallway she found her shoes and was about to go through the front door when she collided with Brendon who stood on the threshold.  
Her head was still pounding as she heard Brendon growl, "What are you doing here, you witch? Where is Josh? "  
When she didn‘t answer immediately, he pushed her back into the house and started shouting," Why are you wearing Josh's hoodie? And now I want to know from you where he is! "  
"Josh is in his room, sleeping, so stop yelling, okay? Otherwise you will wake him up. "  
Brendon pushed her against the wall and hissed at her: "If, you have done something to him, I swear I break all your bones!"  
"And I'll break all your bones, if you don‘t let Georgiana go, Brendon!"  
He turned around in surprise and saw Josh standing behind him, looking at him incredibly angry. He lets go of Georgiana and tried to defend himself: "Jish, I'm so glad you're fine, I thought she had done something to you" and wanted to hug his friend, but he kept him at a distance.   
"I want you to go, Brandon."   
His friend looked at him stunned.  
"I'll go" the two heard Georgiana say. "I, ... I don‘t want to cause any trouble. I'm sorry. "Josh's mouth felt open while Brendon just stared at her in silence. She broke away from the wall and headed for the front door when Josh grabbed her hand and held her back. "Georgie, you don‘t have to go. You didn‘t do anything wrong, unlike that git here "and glared at his friend again.   
"He was just worried about you, Josh," she replied softly, adding, "You said yourself, Brendon is a loyal friend. Such friends are rare. Thank you for everything and I apologize for causing you problems. "  
She squeezed his hand for a moment, then turned away and walked through the door.


	7. Haven't you taken enough from me?

"What the hell did you think to attack Georgiana like that?" Josh snapped at Brandon.  
"I was just about to ring when the front door opened and she ran into me. I didn‘t see you and I kind of freaked out because I thought, as I said, she did something to you. "  
"What?! Why should Georgiana do something to me? On the contrary, someone has done something to her. "  
His friend raised an eyebrow questioningly, and Josh continued, "I found her unconscious on the street last night. She had a laceration on her head and ugly scratches on her neck. So I took her with me. She woke up and was ashamed to have bothered me. "He showed him the note that Georgiana had left him.  
"She wanted to leave quietly as she bumbed into you."  
"Oh, then I have misunderstand the situation, completely. I’m sorry, Jish." Brendon replied, looking at him with such puppy dog eyes, that Josh couldn‘t be really mad at him anymore. Georgiana's words went through his mind. Maybe she was right. Still, he wondered that she had defended Brendon, even though he had been so aggressive towards her. He sighed and asked, "Do you want a coffee?"

\-------------------------------------------------- -------------------

A cool autumn wind played with Georgiana's hair and made her shiver as she walked down the street. Her head was throbbing and she just wanted to go home.  
"IT IS ALWAYS A EVENT TO SEE HOW YOU MESS UP EVERYTHING", Blurryface said amused. "Nice that I could contribute to your amusement," she replied tiredly.  
"I’M SURE JOSHIE DON’T WANT BE NEAR YOU ANYMORE; NOW HE KNOWS HOW UGLY AND DISGUSTING YOU ARE."  
She didn‘t answer.  
When she got home, she undressed and crawled into her bed. She grabbed Josh's hoodie and hugged him. He still exuded his smell and she sucked him in longingly.  
"YOU ARE SO PATHETIC. IT‘S SO DISGUSTING " Blurryface scoffed. "THIS SHRED IS THE ONLY THING YOU WILL EVER OWN FROM HIM."  
She had no strength to fight him. She pulled the hoodie closer to her and closed her eyes. Seconds later she felt the cold hands of the demon scrabbling down her back and the last thing she heard was the nasty laugh of Blurryface before falling into a deep sleep.  
Just a few minutes later her cell phone buzzed and Josh's number appeared on the screen ....

The next morning Georgiana had to efford almost superhuman strength to pull herself out of bed. There was a new day of school and she honestly didn‘t know how to master it. How was she supposed to face Josh? Or Tyler? She reached for her smartphone and froze. Her cell phone displayed 4 messages from Josh. Her hands began to shake as she opened the chat.

Josh, 12.43: Hello Georgiana, I'm really sorry because of Brendon. Believe me, I gave him hell for his behavior.  
How are you?

Josh, 16:25: I can really understand when you're upset, but please tell me how you're doing.

Josh, 19.58: Please, Georgie! I am really worried!

Josh, 22.04: Georgie, please !!!

 

"OH GEORGIE," Blurryface sneered, "POOR JOSHIE IS VERY SAD BECAUSE OF YOU. IF HE‘S NOT SMART ENOUGH TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU, YOU WILL DAMAGE HIM BEYOND REPAIR "and laughed.  
She tried to ignore him and typed an answer:

Georgiana, 6.23: Oh Josh, I am so sorry I didn’t reply to you. I'm not mad. I just fell asleep and just woke up now. I'm so sorry. 

She felt like the last piece of shit. "YES, GEORGIANA, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT. IT’S WONDERFUL, YOUR SLOW BRAIN GET IT FINALLY "  
She tried to ignore him again, put her smartphone in her pocket, and set off.

When Georgiana entered the classroom, Tyler was already sitting at his place, writing in a black notebook. He was so absorbed in it that he did not notice her. Only when she sat down in her place, he looked up in surprise. "Oh, good morning, Georgie." However, when he saw her forehead, where there was a big patch and saw her bandaged neck, he frowned and asked hesistantly, "Oh my god, what happened?"  
"BLURRYFACE" was her brief answer. Tyler was about to ask something, but she cut in"Later."   
He nodded and both fell into silence for a moment. The Forenoon lessons were like chewing gum and both were happy when they finally got off to lunch.  
As soon as they were out of the classroom, Josh met them. He stopped and asked, "Georgiana, could I talk to you for a minute?" She nodded, and Tyler made his way to their tree without her.  
" How are you?"  
" I’m okay. My head is still hurting a bit, but that’s all.  
"Do you know who did this to you?"  
"DARE TO TELL HIM ABOUT ME AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT JOSHIE IS GOING TO REGRET HIS QUESTION, DEEPLY."  
She started shaking and shook her head. Josh looked at her skeptically and was about to reply when he was approached by another girl. "Jish, where are you, we're all waiting for you." She hooked dismissively at Georgiana. "What do you have to do with her?" She asked him in disgust. "Did she bother you?" Now glareing at her openly hostile.  
"What?" He asked perplexed. "Why should she bother me?"   
"Anyway," the girl said and started to pull Josh away. He looked at Georgiana apologetically and she nodded to him before she turned and headed for the restroom.

She couldn‘t bend over the toilet bowl fast enough, so overwhelming was her urge to just puke out the life itself. But only bile leaves her stomach.  
"GOD, HOW PATHETIC" Blurryface was sneering. "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DISGUISTING AND STUPID PIECE OF SHIT and kicking her in the ribs. "AT LEAST, THIS GIRL HAS KNOWN WHAT IS GOOD FOR POOR JOSHIE AND SAW WHAT A USELESS EXISTENCE YOU ARE."  
Georgiana only looked apathetically into the void and let him his hatred words pour over her.


	8. Put out the glitter that your soul hides behind

Only when the school bell rang Tyler noticed how so much time had passed and Georgiana hadn‘t turned up. Maybe she had lunched with Josh, he thought, smiling to himself.  
But his smile dissapeared quickly when he found her visibly wrecked in the classroom. "What happened?" He whispered worriedly. "Did Josh do something to you?" She shook her head in denial. "Blurryface?" She didn‘t respond. Tyler gave a sigh of resignation and let it go, hoping to be able to talk to her after class. But immediately after the bell rang, Georgiana was so fast through the door that Tyler didn‘t have the slightest chance to talk to her.

Georgiana ran, ran and ran. She just wanted to get away from it all. She had no idea where she was going, but at some point her exhausted leg muscles gave way, and she fell groggily to the floor as her burning lungs fought desperately for air. Tears began to run down her cheeks.

\-------------------------------------------------- ------------------

When Tyler stepped out of the school building, he saw Josh approaching him. "Hello Tyler, tell me, have you seen Georgiana?" "Not since class. She's out the door, like the wind. "The drummer raised a worried face. "I don‘t think she's really feeling well after the weekend thing." Tyler's eyes widened, "What's the matter ?!"   
"Oh ..." Josh stammered, "She didn‘t tell you about it?" he trailed off. All alarm bells were ringing in Tylers mind. "Josh, I'm begging you, tell me what happened. She could be in far greater trouble than you realize. "   
" Why she didn‘t tell you then? "  
" She was planning it, but then something happened to her during lunchtime and she fell silent, completely. "  
Josh's face darkened even more, and he told Tyler about the events of the weekend. "Do you know where she lives?" the drummer asked.   
"No, but with luck, I know where she might be now." He turned to leave, but Josh held him back. "Is it okay if I come with you?" Tyler looked at him nervously and answered hesitantly: "No offense, but I'd better see first,if I'm right with my guess." Josh didn‘t like his answer, but he did accept it for now, but said, "Okay, but then let me give you my phone number so you can keep me updated." Tyler saved the number and set off.

\-------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
The smell of grass and moss rose to her nostrils as she slowly opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep from exhaustion. The wind gently stroked her skin and hair, making the trees rustle gently above her. She could feel something like peace at last, that was so rarely granted to her. Who cared that the air began to cool down noticeably as the sun slowly set.  
Just as she was about to close her eyes again, she heard footsteps coming down the path. She startled and saw a figure approaching in the dim light and was about to run away when a voice called after her, "Georgie, please don‘t run away." She froze like a deer in the spotlight and didn‘t know what to do.  
Tyler was with her faster than she thought, and she could do nothing but look ashamed tot he ground. He hugged her tightly and whispered in relief, "God, I'm so glad I found you."  
"Why did you even look for me?"   
Her friend let her go and looked at her in concern.   
"Tyler, it's better if you stay away from me. I am like an infectious disease that ruins everyone. You already have enough to do with your demon and you do not need a bunch of shit like me by your side."  
She started to turn away, but Tyler grabbed her hand and held her back. "No, Georgie. I will not stay away from you. That's exactly what Blurryface wants. He wants to convince us that we haven‘t the slightest right to exist, let alone be worth of friendship or love. Georgie, I know it's hard to believe that there are people who care about you. Josh approached me after class because he worries about you, too. He told me about the weekend thing. "  
Her eyes widened and she began to tremble. He began to stroke her back reassuringly as he continued, "I have to admit, Josh seems to be a better person than I thought. While Brendon is the ass he always seems to be. "  
She looked at him thoughtfully and replied," Yes, Brendon is an ass, but do you know what I really appreciate about him? That he cares so much about Josh. "  
Tyler was silent for a while before he said," And Josh cares about you - just like me. "She finally lost her composure and he asked worriedly" Georgie, what ... "  
"Josh can not get too close to me!"  
"What?! Why?"  
She burst into tears and replied: "He does something cruel to him."  
"Who? Blurryface?"  
"Yes"  
Tyler nodded understandingly and hugged her again. Then he whispered in her ear, "Please believe me, Blurryface can not do anything to Josh."  
"How can you be so sure?" She murmured sobbing.  
"If Blurry had that much power, he could easily kill us, right? But he can‘t. The only thing he can do is torment us until we do it ourselves. "Georgiana hugged him tightly and muttered in a tired voice," Don't let him win Ty - never, okay? "  
He couldn‘t answer anymore, when someone asked out oft he blue "Who is Blurryface?"  
Both jostled when suddenly Josh stepped out of the darkness and looked at them questioningly. When they didn‘t answer, he said, "I ... I really want to help ... no-one should be so tormented by someone." Josh looked at them so pleadingly that Tyler sighed and replied, "It's ... It's difficult to explain ... Blurryface is more than a somebody. He ... He's like some kind of demon who uses all your fears and insecurities against you to make your life living hell, with the goal to get you to the point of committing suicide. "  
Josh's expression changed from bewildered to dismayed. He didn‘t know what to answer.  
"Maybe it was good to tell him about Blurryface" he heard Georgie say. "Because I'm glad you don‘t understand, Josh. I am glad, that you are not haunted by such a dark creature that tears your soul apart bit by bit. Sure you‘re thinking now, that we are nothing more as a bunch of broken freaks, and you know what? You're right.Go back to Brendon and your other friends and have a coffee with a cheerleader. "  
She looked at him with a sad look and wanted to leave when the drummer regained his voice and said," No. "  
Now it was Tyler and Georgiana who looked at him in suprise. "O-okay, I can‘t quite understand what Blurryface is, b-but you're not freaks. I-I've-never told that So-Somebody, b-but I've -have social anxiety and have had p-pa paik-a-attacks several times. "  
As Josh spoke, he started to shake more and more and was on the verge of collapsing. After his confession he didn‘t have the courage to look Tyler and Georgiana in the eyes and looked anxiously to the ground.  
He flinched briefly when he was hugged by someone, but instantly relaxed as he heard Georgiana's voice softly whisper in his ear, "That was very brave of you. You can be proud of yourself, Josh. "  
She released the hug and looked at him so lovingly, the drummer's heart was flooded with a warm and comforting feeling. Meanwhile, Tyler had approached him and clapped him approvingly on the shoulder. Josh smiled shyly when he said, "Thank you for your understanding."   
After a short pause, he asked uncertainly, "Does anyone else fancy pizza?" Tyler and Georgiana grinned and nodded in agreement.


	9. A shadow tilts its head at me

They drove to Georgiana and ordered pizza. While waiting fort he food in the kitchen, Josh and Tyler were joking. It was more than obvious that even Tyler had taken the drummer into his heart, now. When the doorbell rang, Georgiana reached into a white envelope and pulled out a few bills to pay the pizza delivery boy. Tyler accompanied her and Josh stayed alone in the kitchen.  
Out of a whim, he opened the fridge  
and noticed with surprise that it contains 2 packs of milk. In one of the hanging cabinets he found only a few opened boxes of cereal. That was indeed the only food that was there.  
Looking over the work surface, he saw the envelope. Josh gave in to his curiosity and risked a look.  
He was astonished when he found several large bills in it, with a note attached

, Georgiana, here is money for food. Take it responsibly. See you in 3 months, Mum '

He looked at the date that was 2 weeks ago. He didn‘t know exactly why, but this loveless note made him sad and angry at the same time. He recalled his own words he'd said to Brendon: '... because she's always alone.' He didn‘t think his statement would be more than true.

 

When the two of them returned to the kitchen, Georgiana distributed the pizzas on plates.  
While Josh and Tyler began to eat with joy, it was much harder for her. She barely had the first bite in her mouth when a familiar voice sneered: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU ARE STUPID AND UGLY, ALREADY. DO YOU WANT TO GET FAT NOW, ON TOP OF THAT? "Slowly she dropped the piece of pizza and fought the urge to throw up.  
Josh, who had already eaten almost all his pizza piece, looked at her and asked, "Is everything okay?"   
"Yes," she said softly and added, "I, I'm just not really hungry."  
"Georgiana, when was the last time you ate something, hm?" Tyler asked.  
She just shrugged and said softly, "Don‘t know."  
"Okay ..." Josh answered, getting up and sitting next to her. Then he took the piece of pizza from her plate and held it to her mouth. Georgiana was so overwhelmed by his action that she burst into a loud laugh. He also started to grin as she laughingly asked, "Seriously, you want to feed me?"   
"Yeah, I want," he replied, grinning even wider. She took a small bite and he pulled a pout. "Hey, that's going to be better. Like this: "He took the pizza and bit off a big piece. "Yur trn," he said then with his mouth full of food, which only meant, she was laughing even more. Tyler also began to laugh and enjoyed the show in front of him.  
After all, Josh managed with this tactic, that she ate two more pieces of pizza.  
"Laughing is yours, Georgie," he remarked softly as they finished eating and looked at her warmly. She blushed and looked back shyly as she heard Blurry’s voice, "I WILL MAKE SURE, YOU ARE GOING TO STOP LAUGHING IN NO TIME"  
Josh and Tyler could see her turning pale, suddenly and the drummer asked worriedly, "Is everything alright? Did I say something wrong?"  
"No, no." She said hastily, shaking her head. There was that sad smile again, as she added, "You're such a warmhearted person, Josh. That's really admirable. Please always stay the way you are. "He looked at her confused and replied," Thanks for the compliment. "Then he looked questioningly at Tyler, who looked at Georgiana gravely. „ Is it possible, that that Blurryface threatened you with something?"

, WOAH, TYLER HERE IS A BRIGHT SPARK. AND YOU ARE JUST A GREAT DISSAPOINTMENT. IT’S MORE THAN OBVIOUS WHAT A WORTHLESS EXISTENCE YOU ARE. '  
She lowered her eyes and mumbled, "I'm sorry, but I ... I think .. it may be better if ... if you two leave now." "Georgie, I did not mean to offend you," Tyler began, but when he saw that she was close to tears and deep pain drew her face, he fell silent and got up. Josh also got up and did something that Georgiana had not expected: he hugged her tight. Then he whispered in her ear, "Someone will come along and hug you so tightly that all your broken pieces will rejoin." He then squeezed her once more before he and Tyler turned to leave.  
She followed them into the hall, and when Josh looked back to her one last time, he could have sworn to see a shadow behind Georgiana.

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

He was barely back in the car after he dropped Tyler off at home when his cell phone rang. "Hey Jish, what's going on? Did you forget we had an appointment today? "Brendon's voice sounded reproachful in his ear.  
"Ahh, I totally forgot! Sorry Bren, I am really sorry, but I had to clarify something urgently. "  
At the other end of the line, it remained silent for a few seconds before Brandon continued: "Let me guess, it was about Georgiana."  
Josh sighed and replied, "Yes, Brandon, it was about Georgiana. She had a breakdown at noon and Tyler and I looked for her and brought her home. "  
He heard a frustrated rumble, then Brandon continued," I know you don‘t want to hear it, but I told you right away, there is something wrong with her. For heaven's sake, take care of yourself. And this Tyler guy seems to be quite nuts, also. "   
Josh got angry and he replied " Bren, I wonder what's wrong with you! You do not really know them and condemn them without really having a reason. "  
" Jish, please " his friend began, but the drummer interrupted him:" I'll see you tomorrow, then "and hung up. Then he started the engine and headed home.


	10. I realiesed this line is dead

The second the door closed behind Josh and Tyler, Georgiana felt the cold claws of Blurryface on her shoulders. His long nails drilled painfully into her skin as he whispered in her ear with icy breath, 'I MUST ADMIT, JOSHIE'S NAIVITY REALLY AMAZES ME. WHAT AN IDIOT. ‚SOMEONE WILL COME ALONG AND HUG YOU SO TIGHTLY THAT ALL YOUR BROKEN PIECES WILL REJOIN.‘ The demon aped his words and laughed sardonically. In Georgiana switched something, she tore herself from his grip and started shouting at him, "Don‘t you dare to make fun of Josh, you bastard!"   
Blurryface began to grin maliciously and said, 'OH, DO WE START A RIOT? The next moment there was an exact copy of Josh staring disparagingly at her with his red eyes. Georgiana was so shocked that she didn‘t see his fist coming, which he punched into her stomach. When she fell unconscious to the ground, the demon grinned even more and said, 'YEAH, LET’S HAVE SOME FUN.'  
Georgiana woke up in panic when she couldn‘t breathe. Something heavy lay on her chest so that it was hardly possible to breathe. As she opened her eyes, she found Blurryface sitting on her chest, but it was Josh's face, which grinned nasty at her. "ARE WE OUT OF BREATH, SOMEHOW?" He asked scornfully and made himself even heavier. 'WHAT, IF YOU WOULD STOP BREATHING COMPLETELY, THEN?' With her last strength, she reared up and managed to throw Blurryface off. He growled and kicked her against the ribs with full force. The pain was so overwhelming that Georgiana lost consciousness again.

When she regained consciousness the next morning, she immediately regretted it. As she tried to sit up, a sharp pain ran through her left side.  
She struggled out of bed and felt her ribs protest even more violently as she made her way to the bathroom. Seeing her reflection, she was glad she had only a bruise on her left cheek and an ugly cut on the right side of her lip. She treated her wounds before she changed into her clothes, swallowed down a few painkillers with coffee, and made her way to school.  
As she walked down the hall, the cold emptiness of the house felt especially heavy. She wondered why she couldn‘t just get used to the fact that life hasn’t anything to offer for her then this loneliness.

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

When Josh set off for school the next morning, he hoped to find Georgiana, who hadn‘t responded to any of his text messages.  
But instead of meeting her, he only met a pretty pissed Brendon.  
"Hey Jish, can you tell me what was wrong with you, on the phone yesterday?" He asked his friend. But Josh did not really feel like arguing, and he replied, "I could ask you the same thing. Honestly Brendon, I'm really tired of you always telling me, Georgiana wants to hurt me. Weren‘t you the one who wanted me to speak to her? "  
" Yes, that's right, "he admitted meekly," but I thought you could see how scary she is and make her understand, she didn‘t deserves you.“  
"Bren, before you've mentioned it, I didn‘t even know she did that!" He gave Brendon a challenging look. "Man, I just want her to know, that you're a couple of numbers too high for her."  
Then Josh hits the realization, like a sledgehammer: "Wait, I know now, why you are so possessed with it. Your plan has failed. You never expected that I could find Georgiana interesting actually, did you? "His friend's expression spoke volumes. "Can it be that you just used me, to harass Georgiana, again?" Brendon didn‘t answer and stared at the floor.  
Now Josh patience snaps finally, and he growled: "Fine Brendon. You know what? We are done together. Just leave me alone in the future. "He turned away and left him behind.


	11. Not today

The drummer scanned the school corridor for Georgiana, but he couldn‘t see her anywhere. When he stopped at her locker, someone gently tapped him on the shoulder. He turned in surprise and saw Tyler standing in front of him, looking at him shyly. "Oh Tyler, good morning" he greeted him and smiled. "Did you see Georgiana?"  
"Good morning, Josh," he replied, adding, "No, I didn‘t." The school bell rang and they made an appointment for lunch before separating.  
When Tyler entered the classroom, he stopped in surprise for a second, as he saw Georgiana sitting in her seat in the far corner. She stared at the tabletop and her hair hid most of her face. As he sat down next to her, he said softly, "Good morning, Georgie," but couldn’t avoid to startle her. "Good morning, Tyler" she murmured without taking her eyes off the tabletop. "Um, I ... I wanted to apologize again, because of yesterday. I ... I really didn‘t want to offend you." She shook her head resignedly and said softly" You don‘t have to apologize, Ty. You were right." Then she looked at him and Tyler gasped.  
"My God" he whispered, looking at her in shock. "Georgie, what happened last night?" She began to shiver and wanted to dissapear into thin air. "Blurryface made his threat come true, that happened. He said ‚I will make sure, you are going to stop laughing in no time ... " Well, he kept his word." Tyler was about to ask something, but this moment the teacher entered the classroom.

As they sat down under their tree at noon, Tyler said, "Georgie, how can it be that Blurryface can really physically attack you?"   
"At some point, he wasn‘t just a voice in my head anymore, but really got a physical shape. Yesterday was ... especially bad ... he ... he took the look of Josh. "  
Tyler was terrified. But then he began to understand and asked carefully, "Georgie, you like Josh a lot, don‘t you?" The look she gave him spoke volumes. He nodded and continued, "If Blurryface fears something, it's love." She sighed and murmured, "Love ... Tyler, I'm not so stupid to think that Josh is thinking I‘m interesting in any way."  
Her friend scratched the back of his head and continued with a smile. "Um, I wouldn‘t rule that out, in your place. I watched him yesterday when he fed you the pizza. The way he looked at you. Not to mention the hug and what he said to you. "She looked at him incredulously and didn‘t know what to answer.

"Oh Georgie, I'm so glad you're here. I was so worried about you, "Josh called as he reached the tree. They both jostled and Georgiana needed some seconds to realize that the Josh who was standing in front of her, wasn‘t staring at her with red hate-filled eyes, but warm amber eyes, which reflected deep concern. She wanted to sink into the ground in shame.

, YEAH, GOOD IDEA. NOBODY NEEDS SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT, LIKE YOU. '

She stared paralyzed to the ground and Josh looked confused at Tyler.  
"I..I didn‘t want to cause you any trouble. I‘m ... I'm so sorry ... "she answered softly and the two boys could literally see her getting smaller and smaller.

, YOU WORTHLESS EXSISTENCE. THE ONLY THING YOU’RE ABLE TO MANAGE, IS TO GET INNOCENT PEOPLE ON THEIR NERVES WITH YOR WEAKNESS. '

"Hey, Georgie, you don‘t bother us, okay?" Tyler said and seconds later two strong arms hugged her and the smell of coconut and vanilla enveloped them. She leaned her head against Josh's chest and lost herself in his heartbeat.  
She cursed the ringing of the school bell inwardly, which announced the end of the lunch break.

When they left school at the end of the last lesson, Brandon stood in front of the exit with a few other people.  
"Hey Dun, do you have a heart for freaks now, or what?!" a guy asked from the group. When Josh ignored him, a few cheerleaders said, "Hey Josh, you're way too cool for those two garbage piles. Come back to your senses. You belong to us and not to them." He turned and answered snippily:" Maybe the two are to cool for you ?! "  
Now Brandon jumped in their way and he growled: "Are you really serious ?! You prefer the company of these psychos to ours?! " " Looks like it, Bren," the drummer said dryly.  
"Well, then you'll see what you'll get." threatened his former friend, stamping away angrily.  
, YOU WILL ALSO SEE WHAT YOU'LL GET, BITCH‘ the voice of the demon sounded in Georgiana's head. ' TO RUIN JOSHIE’S LIFE, LIKE THIS!'

A shiver went down her back, but she decided to ignore Blurryface. ‚Not today‘, she thought and smiled.


	12. Just another attempt to make the voices stop

"That was very brave and decent of you Josh" Tyler remarked as they continued on their way. "Than..Thank you," the drummer mumbled. "Yes, you are a real hero" commented Georgiana, smiling proudly at him.   
He began to tremble and muttered, "There was nothing heroic about that. To be honest, it ann ... annoys me ... that I needed so much time to.. to have to ... recognize, that Bren ... Brendon and ... and the Others, never weren‘t... really my friends"  
Before the drummer knew what was happening, Georgiana hugged him and muttered," You know, I think everything happens for a reason at a certain time. Maybe it took those events just to make you realize that Brendon and the others are not the kind of friends you need them to be. "" Georgie's right, Jish. Don‘t blame yourself for that, "Tyler added, stroking his back reassuringly.

\-------------------------------------------------- --------------------

When Georgiana and Tyler headed for their lunch tree a few days later, they were already expected there by Josh, who was running around, like a tiger in a cage. The two did not even have the opportunity to say hello when it broke out of their friend "They kicked me out of the band! They said they found someone better, someone who is thinking the way like them. "Tyler and Georgiana were shocked. Before one of them could speak, the drummer burst into tears and collapsed under the tree. "They took what I’ve love the most away from me, playing drums is my elixir of life, my safe haven, my ..." Josh's breathing started to become irregular and his friends knew immediately that he was about to have a full-blown panic attack.  
Georgiana knelt down in front of him, took his face in both hands and said with a gentle voice: "Josh, look at me", but he slipped from her more and more. She tried several times, but without success. Even Tyler could do nothing. In her desperation, she closed her eyes and muttered, "Forgive me, Josh", hauled off and gave him a resounding slap in the face. This throwed him out of his loop and he looked at her wide-eyed. Georgiana didn‘t waste time and ordered: "Breathe in, we count to 4, breathe out." It worked and Josh gradually came to rest again. The moment that Georgiana knew it was over, tears began to run down her cheeks and she stammered, "I'm so sorry I hit you, Jishwa, but ... but I ... I didn‘t see any other possibility, anymore. He took her into a comfortable embrance, while he was still slightly trembling and said, "It's okay, it helped, and that’s all that matters. The end justifies the means, right?" and gave her a contrite smile.  
"Hey Josh," Tyler interjected, "I ... I make some music myself ... so ... so if you want, we could do something together?" The drummer looked at him in surprise and replied, "Yes, sure. What do you play for an instrument? "" Ukulele, piano, bass guitar. And ... and I sing too, "he answered shyly and looked down. "That's so cool!" His friend said appreciatively. "Yes, absolutely!" Georgiana agreed. Tyler blushed slightly and said, "Thank you."   
"Well, then we have something to do after class," she replied with a smile.

And so they all found each other in Tyler's basement and Georgiana and Josh were impressed by how professionally it was equipped. "Wow Ty, you could record an album here," his friends said. He scratched the back of his head and said shyly: Uh, to be honest, I already have. "Josh and Georgiana gaped at him. "Wanna listen!" The two shouted at the same time as they had caught each other. "Okay, so it's called 'No phun intended' and started a file on his laptop. His friends listened reverently as Tyler kneaded his hands nervously. After the third song, Georgiana asked, "Ty, did you write the lyrics?" He swallowed nervously and answered softly, "Yes."   
"They, they are wonderful," she replied reverently. Josh had closed his eyes and tapped the rhythm of the songs with his right hand, completely lost in the rhythm. Tyler smiled and started a song further back on the album. When they heard the first sentences, a big grin appeared on their faces and they couldn‘t help but start to giggle. "It's not like I don‘t have a sense of humor," commented the singer. "What's the name of this masterpiece?" Josh asked with a big grin. "Taco Bell Saga," Tyler replied, grinning even wider and adding, "By the way, how about a nice, greasy burrito?"  
A trip to Taco Bell later, they found themselves back in Tyler's basement and the two boys tried out a few songs that Tyler had recently completed. Georgiana was happy to see how much the two harmonized as she watched the two from the couch. "You should start a band," she said after a while. They looked at her in surprise and Josh said with a grin, "It's a good idea. What do you mean Tyler? "  
" Hm, the idea is so crazy, that could work "and smiled.

Since Tyler had the house to himself this weekend, they decided to have a cozy TV evening. Armed with popcorn, drinks and sweets, they made themselves comfortable in front of the TV. Everyone was silent to focus on the plot of the film. But as the credits of the film flickered across the screen and Tyler turned to his friends, he found that they were sleeping soundly. Josh had snuggled up to Geogiana in his sleep and put an arm around her. She had such a peaceful expression and Tyler was sure, she had the most restful sleep in a long time in Josh's arms. He got a blanket and covered them before retiring to his bedroom.


	13. I failed to live for you

The first thing Georgiana noticed the next morning was the smell of coconut and vanilla accompanied by a light snore. Warm breath hit her neck and her back was warmed by another body. As she tried to move, she felt the weight of an arm that held her safe. Her tired brain woke up finally, and she remembered the last night. Josh and she must have fallen asleep on the couch. She closed her eyes and took in his scent and warmth one last time, before she separated herself carefully from his embrace in attempt not to wake him. Josh whimpered softly as Georgiana left a cold, empty place next to him on the couch. She couldn‘t help herself and bend down to give him a feathery kiss on the forehead. The happy smile that played around Josh's lips was priceless.  
She was about to makeing coffee in the kitchen when Tyler came in and yawned heartily. "Good morning Ty," Georgiana said, grinning at him. "Good morning," her friend replied and tried with his right hand to get his messy hair under control. "No worries, Ty. I like you with your bird's nest on your head, too" she teased him. "Then I'm relieved" he replied with a smile. "Where is Josh?"   
"He's still asleep." He took a look in the living room and smiled. When the Coffee was brewed,they sat down at the kitchen table with their coffee cups and Georgiana just wanted to ask her friend how he had slept when Josh also shuffled into the kitchen. "Good morning you two," he greeted them and headed for the coffee machine. "Good morning, you sweet sleeper," Tyler teased.  
"He?"  
"Well, you look really cute when you're sleeping."   
"Am I doing that?"  
"Do you" Georgiana confirmed and smiled.  
"Thanks," Josh said, starting to grin and saying, "Well, you could have admired me sleeping a bit more, if Georgie hadn‘t left me freezing on the couch." He pulled a pout and just as she was about to reply something he added, "But your kiss kept me warm, after all." Tyler looked at her in surprise and she turned beet red. "Ex ... excuse me ... I didn‘t meant to offend you" she began to stammer "I ... I'm sorry ..." The smile faded from Josh's face as he realized that Georgiana had misunderstood his statement, completely. "Georgie no, that was very nice of you, I was really happy about it." She looked at him anxiously and replied in a shaky voice: "O..Okay" Josh left his coffee cup and hugged her. "Hey dear, it's really okay" As if to confirm his words, he kissed her on the forehead.  
After breakfast, Josh and Georgie headed home. As the drummer pulled up in front of her house, he said, "What do you think about, when we go out to have coffee together tomorrow?" „Didn‘t we just have a coffee together?" She teased him, smiling. He smiled back and countered, "Okay, then tea, cocoa, juice, or something else."   
"Gladly," she said softly, blushing slightly. "Well, then I'll pick you up at 3 o'clock tomorrow," he replied in a soft voice. He wanted to kiss her goodbye on the cheek, but she turned to him right at that moment and he accidentally kissed her on the mouth. "Oh sorry, I really wanted to ..." but he didn‘t manage to finish his sentence when Georgiana gently kissed him back. Now he let go of all his shyness and kissed her more passionately. Neither of them could tell how much time had passed as they break away struggling for breath. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Me too" Josh replied and smiled happily. "Take care of yourself" he gave her goodbye. "I will", she promised and got out of the car. Georgiana waved after him until his car turned around the corner.

The next day, Josh drove up to Georgiana's house, which was nervously waiting for him, already. A happy smile appeared on her face as she recognized him. The drummer just got out of the car when Georgiana hugged him fiercely. "Did you miss me?" He asked teasingly and kissed her on the forehead. "Like crazy," she replied. He smiled and they both got into the car and drove off.  
The ‚A place to be‘ was a sweet little café in a hidden corner of a park. They sat in one of the booths and ordered their drinks. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn‘t see the group approaching them.  
" Well who do we have here? The traitor and his freak "Josh raised an eyebrow and replied:" Bren, leave that. What do you want to achieve with your performance here?  
"Showing the world what a lousy traitor you are. Was it a shock for you when you got kicked out oft he the band, wasn‘t it? "He added, grinning maliciously. Georgiana jumped up and hissed, "So, it was your deed?! You‘re such a horrible person! How could you do that to him? You were his best friend! If anyone here is a disgusting traitor, then you! "  
Brendon's face twisted into a grin as he countered: "Oh, who dares to open his mouth here? Well then I'll tell you something about your dear Joshie here: This is just a game for him. He didn’t care about you like he didn’t care about the dirt under his fingernails. I, persuaded him to speak to you, I, pointed out to him, that you were chasing after him, like a lovesick dog. Otherwise, he wouldn‘t never ever had the idea to recognize you! "  
Georgiana was frozen with horror. All this couldn‘t be true, all that was not allowed to be true ....  
"Come on, ask him!" Brendon provoked her. She looked at Josh in fear and asked in a low, trembling voice, "Is that true, what Brendon claims?" The drummer looked at her desperately and said softly, "Yes. He made me aware that you are probably interested in me. But it‘s not true that it's just a game for me. Please Georgie, I'm really serious with you. "  
While he spoke he saw her getting more and more pale and the sparkling in her eyes disappeared.   
"You see, nobody wants you Georgiana, you're nothing more than a joke" Brendon added with a cruel woice and his companions began to laugh. Josh grabbed blind fury, and he gave Brendon a chin hook and lunged at him. A tremendous tumult started that Georgiana barely noticed as she left the café, in deep apathy. Everything felt numb and dead.


	14. I can feel your breath, I can feel my death

She didn‘t know how long she had been running aimlessly when she stood in front of an abandoned factory building, suddenly. When she stepped inside, she was welcomed by decades of dust and decay. The wind howled through the broken windows, as if mourning the old times when this building was filled with life. Now it was dead and forgotten.

A cold hand fell from behind on her shoulder and icy breath stroked her cheek, as a familiar voice said, 'WELL, I ALWAYS TOLD YOU: NO BODY WANTS YOU. BUT STUPID AS YOU ARE, YOU DON‘T WANT TO LISTEN.‘  
, Georgiana sank exhausted to the floor in a corner of the great hall and closed her eyes.  
Blurryface held her in an icy embrace and cold fingers brushed her hair. There was no heartbeat in his hard chest. "Stop it," she said softly. "I want to forget."  
The demon hummed in agreement behind her, picking up a dusty shard of glass from the floor and placing it in Georgiana's hands. ,YOU KNOW THE SOLUTION. ONLY A FEW DEEP CUTS AND YOU HAVE RELEASED EVERYONE OF YOUR WORTHLESS AND UNLOVEABLE EXISTENCE '  
Without hesitating, she began to cut deep into her right forearm, and blood began to stream onto the cold concrete floor that carried away the dust of decades. The last thing Georgiana saw was the sunset that was visible through the broken windows. Knowing that there would be no sunrise for her anymore. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the darkness ......

 

 

 

There was nothing around her. Only absolute darkness. Blacker than the deepest black. Not the slightest sound was heard. Just as she was wondering if that was death, bright light flashed around her and she jumped. Silhouettes of gray walls and a fire burning in a fireplace peeled out of the darkness. Then she noticed a figure in a red robe gazing down at her through a fine veil and holding a glowing neon light stick in his hand.  
"Where ... where am I?" Asked Georgiana, confused. "In DEMA" the figure answered in a deep, husky voice.  
"And ... and who are you?" The figure looked at her dismissively and replied, "I am Nico" ...


End file.
